Dear Sometimes,

You are so two-faced. The purveyor of hope but also despair. Because Sometimes it's all in your head and everything is fine. But Sometimes they really are plotting behind your back, talking and laughing about you. Sometimes you ride off into the sunset and get your happy ending. Sometimes you tell the person you love something painful about yourself, hoping it will bring you closer, but they accuse you of making it up. Sometimes the sun shines, the birds sing and all is well in the world. Sometimes a guy walks into a school and shoots a lot of little children.
Just to clarify Sometimes, this is not a love letter.

Sincerely,
PC

Dear Why,

You're not a rhetorical question. We want an answer.


Sincerely,
PC

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like:

1. A pony

2. Donald Trump's head on a platter. Taking extra special care with the hair, of course. But if the Donald is considered too indispensable for Republican imbeciles or late night comedians, then I would gladly accept the heads of George W Bush, Rush Limbaugh, or Karl Rove instead. I'm easygoing, Santa.

3. Honey Boo Boo placed with an Amish family for a year or two. I'm thinking the severe culture shock will help to balance the poor little thing out and give her a shot at a better life. And imagine all those sad tabloid stories the world would be spared from reading, Santa. I believe that is called humanitarianism.

4. Justin Trudeau to win the Liberal leadership and become the next Prime Minister of Canada. This one I'm begging you for, Santa. Stephen Harper has been very very naughty. For the sake of little Canadian boys and girls everywhere Santa! Justin has the hair, I mean the heart to make this country great again. Please Santa!

5. Peace in the Middle East. Or radio stations to stop playing that damn Woop it Gangnam Style song. Whichever is easier. I know you're busy, Santa.

6. Michael Fassbender or Leonardo DiCaprio. Or both if I'm very naughty, I mean very good.

We'll that's it. Thanks Santa!


Sincerely,
PC