Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Dear Canada,

I count my blessings every day that I'm one of your citizens. You aren't perfect but you're mighty close in my books. I'm deeply grateful for the standard of living I enjoy because of you. There are so many things to love about you Canada. But I think the thing I love most is the fact that, per capita, you have far fewer batshits than the country south of your border. Thank you Canada.
Sincerely,
PC

Dear United States,

If you're not too busy I was hoping you could explain something to me. I've been hearing a lot of talk about the possibility of President Obama being impeached. I was just wondering what's up with that. I'm Canadian, so maybe I don't fully understand how things are done down there, but it seems to me the guy's just trying to clean up a mess he inherited and make sure that when a person has a baby or needs a gall bladder removed they don't have to mortgage their house. But I'm sure it's all much more complicated than that and I'm just not understanding the situation fully. I know you impeached Bill Clinton and I understand that it wasn't his sexual indiscretions that incurred your wrath but rather the fact he lied about them. Although, forgive me for saying so but if every politician in DC had to resign over lying about extramarital sex, wouldn't there be a heck of a lot of job vacancies in your beloved capital? But again, I'm sure there are extenuating circumstances I'm not even considering and that if one of you nice Americans explained it to me it would all make perfect sense.
The real head scratcher involves George W. Bush. Now again, please forgive me if I have this wrong, but best I can figure he lied about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, outed a CIA agent as revenge against her husband who spoke the truth about the absence of WMDs, defied the UN by invading Iraq, and because of the shenanigans at Abu Ghraib was labelled a war criminal. Now there was some talk about impeaching him but it never amounted to anything. Again, I know this is a very complicated issue. I'm sure you God-fearing Americans can explain why Clinton was impeached, Obama may be, and Bush never was. Your assistance in understanding these matters would be greatly appreciated.


Sincerely,
PC