Dear Evolution,

My friend, we need to talk. I don't know if you're going through something in your personal life or if you're hitting the bottle too hard, but your work is suffering. What happened Evolution? For so long you were the epitome of ambition. From caveman to Albert Einstein your work was a thing of beauty. But even then things were starting to slip. It showed in little ways, like wisdom teeth and foreskin. People have been forced to yank out and cut off these unnecessary parts for generations. And speaking of inefficiency, most ladies are wearing clothes now and no longer living in caves, so body hair isn't required. Do you know how much waxing costs, not to mention hurts? Help a girl out Evolution!
But where you've really dropped the ball, where you've really let everybody down, is the progression of the human mind. It was all going so well. And then...the Kardashians. The Real Housewives. The Tea Party. That Wild Rose debacle. Jesus, Evolution. We're supposed to be getting smarter, not dumber! Glenn Beck? Sarah Palin? While you've been holed up with god knows who, doing god knows what, human civilization has become a disaster of moronic proportions. So let's get you the help you need so you can get back to work. We need you, Evolution. Now more than ever. You don't want Rush Limbaugh to be your legacy, do you? Because we both know you can do so much better than that.
Sincerely,
PC