Dear Fairy Tale,

You have either messed me up royally or rescued me several times. Which means you are either the villain or the hero - I just can't decide which. Because when life gets dark and I feel myself sinking it's the belief that my Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming are on their way that gladdens my heart and lifts me up. I imagine them riding together in a classic Jag with a trunk full of wine and chocolates! But I'm starting to wonder if it's the interminable waiting for them that causes the darkness in the first place. I believe that's what they call a vicious cycle. I'm going to have to figure this out. In the meantime, wine and chocolates are totally real and I can buy them myself so thank heaven for that. I'll let you know, Fairy Tale, when I've made up my mind about you. Until then, whenever we meet I will be polite but slightly suspicious.

Sincerely,
PC

Dear History,

You have so much to teach us. So much wisdom to impart. Too bad your students are all human beings. We've consistently proven unable to learn your lessons. It's not your fault History. You're an excellent teacher. Your method of using repetition as an educational tool is genius. We should all be honour students by now. But no matter what test you give us we're going to fail it. We're not learning impaired. We're just stupid. Sorry about that.

Sincerely,
PC

Dear Helen Mirren,

You are fabulous! Those pictures of you in your bikini remind us that the old rules no longer apply. A woman can still be beautiful and sexy in her 60's! So because of you I'm no longer terrified of getting older. Now I'm just uneasy. And that, I believe, is what they call progress. Thank you Helen!

Sincerely,
PC

Dear Dementia,

I hate you. I mean I really hate you. You get your kicks by picking on the weak and stripping away their dignity. Your ego feeds on the pain of family members who must watch helplessly as their loved one withers away. You delight in being the puppet master, pulling the strings and making your slave dance about in the most unsettling ways. You know you are robbing their loved ones of their good memories. You know very well that when your poor slave is finally, mercifully, freed from you it's the images of them trapped in your twisted dance that will remain so vividly in their minds. You are a criminal. You are as evil as Hitler and one day you too will meet your deserved fate. Like the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz your weakness will be discovered and you will melt away. The day is coming. And I hope it hurts.

Sincerely,
PC